Proof Read
I already knew that the institution I work for can't spell. Now a table topper trying to get me to fill out the employee survey proves to me that they have no clue what proof reading is in general. "Tell us what's on your mind. We can't read". Great, so you can't spell or read.
Interviewed by Brad
Brad- You're at a party and a company president mentions that they need someone just like you at their very lucrative and stable company. They want to DOUBLE your current salary. The only drawback is that there is a lot of travel involved in the job. It's very interesting work, but you'd be gone from home 4 days per week. Do you take the job?
If I didn't have a family, I would jump at the chance. But with a kid, a baby on the way, and a husband, (unless I could bring them along on all of my trips) I would have to say no. I wouldn't want to miss things in their lives, and I wouldn't want to put that much pressure on J. He would have to work, take care of household duties, and act as dad and mom. J has been traveling for the past 12 years, so I have been there... it can be really hard juggling it all.
Brad- A photographer notices you at a restaurant and gives you her card. She is compiling a book of women of all shapes and sizes, and wants you to be part of it. It is a nude book, and not pornography. She is paying $1500 for one photoshoot. Would you go? If not, is there an amount of money that would change your mind?
If it was a legitimate project, I would in a second.
Brad- You're walking along the pier and notice something is wrong. You hear shouts from a kid about his pets and look over the side of the pier to see a cat and a dog, both struggling in the water. What do you do? Do you jump in and save one, or call for help? If you jump in, which would you save (it can be only one, sorry)?
If I thought that I would be able to save one of them, I would jump into the water. I would probably go for the animal that looks like it can't last any longer... in hopes that someone would be coming shortly behind to run in and save the other.
Brad- It's 4:00am and you're heading home from a friend's house. You come to a red light and there isn't anyone in sight. You're very tired. Do you run it?
I wait a minute for the light to turn... if it doesn't and no cars are coming, I make a break for it.
Brad- What's next in evolution on this planet? There were dinosaurs here once, but they didn't impact the Earth like man. What will happen to us in thousands or hundreds of thousands of years?
We are killing off our planet. Soon enough we will have destroyed the natural habitats of thousands of species. I am afraid if we do not stop raping the planet of all it's natural resources, there will be no planet left for us to call home.
Great questions Brad, thanks!
Dude turned four
Last Friday Dude turned four years old. That means that we have successfully kept him alive for four whole years! Wow, we are good. To commemorate the exciting day, we opened and closed Disneyland. We had a big group, including Grandmas, cousins, and aunts. I learned a few things from the day... First- our family is patient. Second- tired and hungry four year olds are insane creatures, which is not much different from tired and hungry three year olds. Third- Dude is a daredevil, loving the biggest rides he could go on. The rest of the weekend was spent with family enjoying their company, and realizing how much we really miss them. Happy Birthday Dude, I love you more than cake.
Feet
I despise feet. Nearly a phobia I suppose. They are just not attractive to me in anyway. I appreciate them for their usefulness, and would never want to go without them... I just do not like them. I don't like to touch feet, unless they are my own. I do not like mine touched. I have at least gotten to the point where I can get a pedicure without wanting to kick the person in the face (partially due to the following story I have to tell), although my feet are extremely ticklish. So what I am saying... feet are yucky.
Years ago J and I were in Italy for our wedding. We walked for hours in the streets of Florence enjoying our surroundings. I was wearing Tevas, which become a creature of their own once you tromp miles in them. They get really dirty and smelly. This in turn creates the nastiest smelliest feet you can imagine. But, the sandals are functional and very comfortable to walk in for days on end... and seriously who would be playing with my feet in the middle of another country...
Sitting in a piazza enjoying our surroundings, an Italian man walks up to us and begins to talk. I do not know Italian, but I can fake my way thru it, knowing enough French and Spanish to at least pick up on some of the similar words. He was talking to me about my feet. What I could surmise after a few minutes, other than his intense interest in my feet, was his claims of being a Podiatrist. He continued his conversation all while taking my sandal off, and seductively caressing my foot. I looked at J in horror, and he was looking back with equal amounts of horror and amusement. The Italian man did finally ask J if he minded my foot being touched by him, J smiled and shook his head enthusiastically, I'm sure excited to see the mans next move.
So, in a piazza in Florence, with a strange Italian man fondling my foot, I had an epiphany. How could I seriously rob this man of his fetish? If he really wants to fondle the smelly, dirty foot of an American girl on her Honeymoon, who am I to crush this fantasy. Would he ever find another girl like me, in clunky sandals with her new husband staring on? No he wouldn't. So, I sat in partial horror and partial awe at his gumption. I hope I made his day. I hope he was able to have hours of future happiness from his 15 minutes with my foot. What can I say, I'm a giver.