Previous neighbors
The cleaners-
A family across the street that would vacuum their cars all weekend long... two full days of vacuuming. They had really clean cars. Why they couldn't at least do our car...
The I-no-see-you neighbors-
You do your best to say hello and be friendly, yet they look at you and walk past like you do not exist. Yeah and by the way, your kids broke into the other neighbor's house.
The president of the homeowner's association-
Continually calling me little girl... and fixing the raffle at the annual BBQ so that I won a cookbook (that he and his wife wrote) and my hubby a hat (that he designed)... and having the nerve to say that we cheated. It was a raffle asshole, you drew the tickets... you can kiss this little girls ass!
The newlyweds-
They seemed fun. We had drinks. We went to their parties. They came to ours. At a Christmas Eve party I found myself sitting between them... I ended up having two different hands on my two thighs, his and hers. The next year when they got divorced I was told that I was part of the reason... they both lusted after me. Oops.
The lies we tell in a bar
So what do you do for a living?
-I model products in the Adam and Eve catalog.
Oh, you two are married.
-Yes, but no worries... we have open marriages, our husbands are at the other end of the bar picking up women, interested?
Morning commute
Watching a bicyclist riding down the road with a cigarette in one hand and a Starbucks coffee in the other. Welcome to Seattle.
Autumn
I love this time of year. The fresh crisp air, leaves falling, the wind... it all gives me energy.
Desperate Housewife
The hubby and I have finally started to watch the ever so clever series Desperate Housewives. I love it. And to celebrate this discovery I have holed myself in a swanky Downtown Hotel to live out my desperate housewife fantasies... Not having to wipe the ass of another, sleeping in, and an actual bathing experience without an audience... if I so choose.
Survival of the fittest
Driving thru campus I avoided running over dozens of co-eds, bicyclists, lost freshman, and professors. The only living being that used a crosswalk was a squirrel.