six of the scariest words you can hear uttered at 6:30 in the morning
"Oh no mommy, where's my diaper?"
I know for a fact at least one time in my life I would have set a world record for the 1500m
One summer during High School B and I were out causing mischief. For a few days in a row we had driven by a new housing development where we thought it would be funny to push over the outhouse. It was the middle of the night and we were on our way home to her house, coming thru the new neighborhood. We began to slow deciding whether or not we should go for it this one last time. I had a horrible feeling about it. Instead of following my instinct/premonition we decided to go ahead with our plan.
I slowly walked toward the outhouse with my uncertain feeling, B in the car waiting for our great escape. I reached the door and paused for a moment noticing that the padlock on the door was unlocked for the first time... just as I had envisioned it. Instead of deciding that this was a sign telling me to turn my ass back, I put my hands on the door and gave a little shove.
In the same instant that I began my push I sensed movement in my peripheral vision. This movement was nothing less than a construction worker with a baseball bat.
The position I was in from the car made it impossible to get to there easily so my best bet was to run down the street into the adjoining neighborhood. I lost the construction worker after multiple yards and finally hiding under a deck. I am certain this run would have put me in the record books... adrenaline is an amazing thing.
Wanted: the perfect black dress
I had one once, the perfect black dress... but it met it's unfortunate demise three years ago during the holiday season. The tale is a tragic one, I still weep for that dress... there does not seem to be another.
My dress had magical powers I am sure of it. It made me feel sexy and sophisticated. There was not just one thing about the dress that made it so perfect... it was everything. As if it was created just for my body. It flowed over my curves, cut low down my back, and dipped in the front just enough.
It was a late evening with M & C drinking our way thru downtown and finally crashing another company's holiday party. I stood up from the table in front of hundreds of people when my dress decided to go out in style. My thin spaghetti strap snapped off and I flashed everyone facing me as they were eating their food. I smiled, turned to my friend exposed breast and all, and calmly asked to borrow her sweater. We made our way out of the banquet hall (so much for not drawing attention to ourselves) and began a fit of laughter.
So this is where I am. No black dress to make me feel sexy. No black dress to make me feel sophisticated. Wanted: the perfect black dress.
Fun stuff
there is something to feeling young
Last week I was mistaken for a teenager twice. First I was asked if I was going to prom, and second I was hit on by a car full of 16 year old boys while I was putting my child into his car seat (they thought I was the nanny). I'm not complaining mind you, I really like looking young... I have always said I wanted to be a MILF.